Exhale
Sometimes life gets blustery. The wind of chaos sweeps through and swirls up everything in your life that isn't bolted down. And knocks over some of what you thought was bolted down. No matter how you cram and push and press into the wind, the reality of your life in that moment looks nothing like what makes your core values ring.
I am not talking about tragedy. I am not talking about grief, real illness, or loss of any kind. Just the relentless swirl of life that dances through as stomach bugs, sleeplessness, crumbs stuck to your feet. Favorite clothes that finally come out of laundry changed for the worse. Pink, small, frayed.
Suddenly you can't remember how long it has been since your life had a rhythm that wasn't stressed or frantic. Not perfection, just manageable. You bounce against the smothering that pulls and prods without hands. You change tactics, cry for help, feel overwhelmed.
And then it blows out. One small change somewhere in the line of production clicks things back to a more manageable flow.
That was today in our house. Our change was a nap/bedtime sticker chart. It hasn't solved all bed time problems, but it slowed the lion-taming dance that my days had become. And I realized at dinner I could exhale. Breath deeply and then also let it out. The kids played together. My husband and I laughed until we cried at the crazy after-dinner show they invited us to. Margin. Beautiful, glorious margin returned to our life.
The wind will return another day. These seasons are not over. But just the realization of how much better today feels reveals how burdened I was yesterday. Today I breathe in gratitude and gather up the memories to anchor me in the next wind.
I am not talking about tragedy. I am not talking about grief, real illness, or loss of any kind. Just the relentless swirl of life that dances through as stomach bugs, sleeplessness, crumbs stuck to your feet. Favorite clothes that finally come out of laundry changed for the worse. Pink, small, frayed.
Suddenly you can't remember how long it has been since your life had a rhythm that wasn't stressed or frantic. Not perfection, just manageable. You bounce against the smothering that pulls and prods without hands. You change tactics, cry for help, feel overwhelmed.
And then it blows out. One small change somewhere in the line of production clicks things back to a more manageable flow.
That was today in our house. Our change was a nap/bedtime sticker chart. It hasn't solved all bed time problems, but it slowed the lion-taming dance that my days had become. And I realized at dinner I could exhale. Breath deeply and then also let it out. The kids played together. My husband and I laughed until we cried at the crazy after-dinner show they invited us to. Margin. Beautiful, glorious margin returned to our life.
The wind will return another day. These seasons are not over. But just the realization of how much better today feels reveals how burdened I was yesterday. Today I breathe in gratitude and gather up the memories to anchor me in the next wind.
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